First released in 1969, “I’m OK, You’re OK” is one of the most successful self-improvement books ever released and attempts to break down the psychological theory of Transactional Analysis (TA) into a model that is easier to understand and use in daily life. The phrase “I’m OK, You’re OK” refers to the final “life position,” what author Harris claims we reach ideally, once we have reconciled the roles of parent, adult and child (as shown in the Parent-Adult-Child (P-A-C) model). This means that we have not only accepted ourselves, but those around us, and can interact healthily in our daily lives, i.e., we reach the state where I’m OK and you’re OK.

One of the things Transactional Analysis does is break down human psychology into interactions (or “transactions”) and “I’m OK” builds on this concept by examining how we interact with each others in daily life. In a simplified version of some TA theories, Harris explains that there are three human states, child, parent and adult, and we revert to different states at different times and with different people. This means that being a “child” (in this context) does not necessarily mean acting childish: It means we may act too much on emotion, and view ourselves as helpless and under the influence of people who have control over us (the way children see the world and adults.) Similarly, being a “parent” does not necessarily mean being more mature in this model: It means behaving in a way that is often inflexible or morally rigid (as parents often behave towards children when they are younger, laying down rules as absolute.) The ideal state is that of “adult,” the stage where the person is no longer battered by emotions (child) or rigid rules (parent) but able to healthily interact with the world and make their own opinions.

Readability: 4/5

While critics of “I’m OK” may cite its oversimplification of TA as a fault, this translates into an easily readable book that draws its readers into the P-A-C model through various diagrams and dialogues.

Applicability: 4/5

“I’m OK” is not a new book. Some may be put off by the age, others, by the jargon which, while explained in the text, may give some readers the impression of a method that is too involved for daily use. However, there are some models and concepts that can be carried on today and are worth a second look, including the frame of the P-A-C model and many of the dialogues (or “games”), which show interactions that haven’t changed much over the decades. Harris’s book remains a standard for everyday Transactional Analysis.

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