Communication is one of our most basic functions as human beings. The numerous conversations we have every day with our family, friends and coworkers fulfill many purposes and they do not always work towards positive aims. Take the following exchange between two people:

Jane: I hate the way I look. I wish I could get back into shape again.
Paul: Hey, why don’t you come to the gym with me tomorrow?
Jane: Because it’s so expensive. I can’t afford that right now.
Paul: We could go on a walk…
Jane: I guess… but it’s been raining lately. I don’t want to catch a cold.
Paul: My friend goes to an indoor pool regularly and says it’s pretty cheap…
Jane: Yeah, but those community pools are always so crowded. I can’t stand that.

This is a classic example of what the psychological theory of Transactional Analysis (TA) calls a “game.” It’s a repetitive, sometimes destructive, but always predictable exchange between two or more people. The game above is called “Why Don’t You, Yes But” and suggests that this conversation has happened between these two people more than once. Jane knows she will not take any suggestions offered her, yet she presents a problem to be solved. Paul knows his friend will reject each suggestion, yet he offers them. The conversation continues because it fulfills a psychological need in one or both of them. (Jane wants to feel helpless and Paul wants to feel compassionate.) Transactional analysis is about examining these “games.” The specific game above is just one of many such exchanges we can find ourselves playing out daily with the people around us.

The Karpman Triangle

Transactional analysis attempts to break down human interactions into simple units called transactions. A transaction is one piece of communication (for example, saying “Hello Bob.”) from one person to another. Human interaction is built up of these units and some of them are helpful to interacting with others and some of them are not. Among TA’s many games, one of the most important is the Karpman triangle, or drama triangle. By definition, a drama triangle is a model of dysfunctional social interaction between three roles: the victim, the saviour (or rescuer) and the aggressor (or persecutor.)

Victims: Victims see themselves as completely at the mercy of forces beyond their control. They don’t take responsibility for their actions and don’t think they have the power to change themselves or their situations. They may be characterised by complaining, incompetence, and helplessness. A typical victim statement is: “I can’t do anything right. No matter what I try, nothing seems to work.”
Saviours: Saviours see themselves as doing more than their share of work to help out “victims.” They often seek these victims out though, trying to offer them short-term solutions, while neglecting their own problems. They may be characterised by hidden anger, tiredness, resentment and tactical use of guilt. Saviours appear the most positive of the three roles, but their help is not genuine: They want to be needed. This can come out in resentful statements: “I’m always there for you, but I can’t keep doing it. Everyone wants me to take care of them and I’m tired.”
Aggressors: Aggressors blame victims for being weak and saviours for babying and encouraging victims without offering a solution to either of their problems. Aggressors are often over-critical and quick to find fault. They can be characterised by a judgmental or domineering personality, which is often just the way they protect themselves from their own insecurities. They may say something like “Yeah, I’m being a jerk, but that’s how the world is. You need to be tough to survive.”

These roles are not fixed for any person. While someone may find themselves participating more frequently as one or the other, the nature of the triangle requires that the roles cycle through all players in a certain exchange. For example, the saviour pushed too hard by the aggressor may become the victim; the former victim may then come to the rescue of the previous saviour…

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